Wednesday, March 25, 2015

MONDAY, AUGUST 4, 2008

Patience is a Virtue...

There is something baffling about Eternal Process...
But I don't think there used to be.
Since almost everyone in history was by necessity a farmer I think that patience has become a problem only relatively recently.

Take, for instance, my zucchini plant (give me a few weeks and I'll be begging you to take my zucchini!) When I bought the plant it was tiny. I remember thinking there is no way I am going to have too much zucchini to eat this year. Yet something in the back of my brain told me to plant it away from the other vegetables with plenty of room, just in case it did the incredible hulk transformation thing like last year. We all take a breath when we think about last year and zucchini--it became the staple of every meal.

All spring I was wondering when the zucchini plant was going to take off. It seemed like it was tiny for a long time. Watering every morning I looked for something new. Thank goodness I stopped short of measuring the leaves...the neighbors already have questions about my gardening fanaticism. Then it was definitely bigger, but maybe I gave it too much room. Look how far away the rest of the vegetables were!

Next came the gorgeous yellow-orange flowers, but where were my zucchini?!
I smiled at myself, impatient with zucchini progress and reflected on six months of Tracy's chemo treatments. Now there was an exercise in patience! At mid-forty Tracy and I were suddenly thrust into Senior Citizen lifestyle. Almost overnight all our associates were twenty, thirty or forty years older than us. We saw all the same folks--at the doctor, at the pharmacy, in the chemo treatment room. Our whole lives became centered around appointments, none of them as precisely scheduled as they sounded when we made them. It became clear, quickly, what the word "waiting" means in "waiting room". Remembering how we used to laugh at jokes about Seniors eating dinner at restaurants as early as 4pm, I suddenly caught on that the joke was on the comedian and his amused audience. Seniors aren't going to dinner at 4pm, they are finally done with their "morning" appointments and just now getting lunch!!
We learned what it means to wait, patiently.

I remember with sickening clarity our first visit to the oncologist office. If I could have sat in Tracy's waiting room chair with him, I would have crawled in. The best I could do was to lay my head on his shoulder tucking my face toward his neck so I couldn't see...patient after patient, most with no hair, walking slowly up to the desk to check in. Laughing...I couldn't figure out that part...why were the receptionists, nurses and patients laughing and joking with each other?! Didn't they know they had cancer...scary life-changing, loved-one robbing thief? After weeks of surgery recovery and waiting for enough healing to start the treatments, morning after morning brought waking into consciousness with something huge nagging at my brain. Then that moment when I was fully awake...staring with wide eyes at the ceiling...Cancer, we were living the cancer nightmare.

The first chemo treatment was terrifying. My heart beat fast as Tracy chose a recliner chair in the treatment room. Just that morning, the surgeon had inserted the port into his shoulder, sewn the tubing up into the interior jugular artery in his neck. And now the i.v. needle was secured into his port. And the forty-eight hour treatment had begun. Two hours in hospital, twenty-two with a pump at home, two more in hospital and then the final twenty-two at home. Counting the time waiting for our turn, it was over fifty hours every other week and that was just for the chemo itself. The week in between appointments was when the suffering began, hundreds of body cells, good and bad, destroyed...cheating cancer from taking Tracy, while pushing Tracy as close as possible to death. Know what you learn while you wait? Patience. I can now sit in the same chair at a hospital for hours working word puzzles or number games. The ability to read came later in treatment. At first I couldn't process the print on the page...too many racing thoughts, too much "reality" in my face to let a book lead me to escape into fantasy. My world was too harshly believable, stranger than fiction as they say, for me to run away. Music made me cry, books made me antsy, everything was different, nothing stayed the same.

Fast forward a few months...look at us! We walk into the hospital and Tracy, who is almost completely stripped of any energy at all starts joking with the receptionist and nurses. He isn't bald because his chemo doesn't strip you of your hair, but he is stripped of just about everything else. You wonder what the last thing is you will be holding when all the chips are down. Tracy's humor will never die. Cancer didn't kill it, not when it killed his brother and not when it almost took him. Pain didn't kill it...and the pain meds only sharpen his already-dangerous wit. Laugh and laugh, it was mostly black humor but we clung to it like a lifeboat. And the nurses and staff played along. One day we walked into the treatment room and I said to the nurse, "He would like steak and mashed potatoes today!" Several minutes later she emerged with his toxic meds oxaliplaitin and lucovorin, one a vitamin to kick the other into action. On post it notes attached were one label "Steak" and the other "Mashed Potatoes". Tracy began calling our visits "Kelly's Chemo Club" because I processed the only way I knew, by talking to other patients and their families. Tracy would sit down, get hooked up, and work on his laptop, listen to music in his earphones, or read. If it was a really good day, he would sleep. Nothing was as sweet as sleep, if it was deep, because that was the only true escape from this hell. I would, as he says, "Work the Room". Angels, these people were all angels. All different shapes and sizes, all different colors and ages. All suffering, all afraid. Coming home from treatment always meant one thing, crashing into bed--Tracy because of the physical chemo tidal wave that was starting to hit, me because my emotions were so strung out talking to other patients, hearing their stories, crying, laughing, soberly sharing for hours left me raw and exhausted. I don't know what my children thought. Their parents were emotionally fried and physically spent.

How long will it take for my zucchini plant to produce? Time is measured differently now in my head. One more clean blood test with no evidence of new tumor growth...by the next cat scan we will be in full zucchini harvest. Every day with cancer still asleep is endless possibility, every month of cancer-free cat scan is another anniversary party planned in my head. Will we make it to that 25th in two more summers, I don't know. Will we celebrate our 50th twenty-five years from then? I know one thing and one thing only--it's not about the years, it's about the process and the learning. So far we've built a strong house to stand against the wind. Give us another few zucchini harvests to come and we will have created a mansion that will stand through any storm and be our refuge in Eternity.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 3, 2008

Savior's Plea

"Father, forgive them for they know not what they do..."
I've never understood that--
Ten words uttered in absolute agony
Hanging from a cross
Struggling for breath
Mere moments left in His mortality.

I'm not alone in my bafflement
Pilot was amazed
And apparently disgusted
Physically and symbolically washed his hands
As if that could ever be enough
While they, the ones our Jesus would ask Father to forgive, screamed
"Crucify him! Crucify him!"
How could He think they didn't know what they were doing
When they had demanded it be done?

And when I ask the Father
Since He has promised to respond
I am staggered by the answer I receive
The Spirit tells me
It wasn't what they did
But Whom they did it to
That would cause Him
The Greatest of All
To plead for their behalf

The Creator of the Universe
Alpha and Omega
The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob
The very God of the Old Testament--
Was Him they spat upon, stripped, scourged, and mocked.
And when He comes in glory, and every knee shall bow
They will strangle forth the words,
"We knew not, Father. Forgive us. Please forgive us!"

"Father, forgive her, for she knows not what she does..."
I take the Sacrament each week and my mind wanders
A sacred ordinance performed with His disciples in the Upper Room
Repeated for me each week of my life
So simple, and yet, so hard for me to comprehend
An opportunity for me to fully repent and be clean.
Fretting in my mind about the busy week ahead
I miss my opportunity to feel His forgiving love

"Father, forgive her, for she knows not what she does..."
I'm so exhausted that I fall into bed
Remembering my prayers as I'm drifting off to sleep
I try to concentrate on the words
It comes out trite and insincere.
I have approached the Royal Throne of God
Addressed the Father by name, mumbled words that even I don't understand
Then closed the feeble attempt in my Savior's name.

"Father, forgive her, for she knows not what she does..."
My thoughts have carried me into darkness
I feel like there is no hope
I'm not worthy of the Savior's love
I've messed up too much
There is no way back for me.
Denying Christ's power
Believing I'm unsavable
I turn to the Gods of this world
To escape my pain.

My Jesus suffered for me
Yet I turn away
It's too hard to believe what He says.
And Satan smiles.
Another victory for the one who wants to destroy me
Trusting the Master of Lies,
I turn away from the Master of the Universe.
And when I ask the Father
Since He has promised to respond
I am staggered by the answer I receive
The Spirit tells me
It wasn't what I did
But Whom I did it to
That would cause Him
The Greatest of All
To plead for my behalf.
The Creator of the Universe
Alpha and Omega
The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob
The very God of the Old Testament--
It is His gift that I disregard, disobey, ignore and doubt.
And when He comes in glory, and every knee shall bow
I will strangle forth the words,
"I knew not, Father. Forgive me. Please forgive me!"
And in His infinite mercy, it will be done.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

First Kiss

"Quiet everyone! It's time to rehearse the next scene..." the director's voice rang through the auditorium and my heart started to pound.
Not now! Not in front of an audience filled with my friends who were waiting for their call to the stage. Surely Marilyn would block this scene in private. We were, after all, the only two characters in it!

Her request was futile as pages turned and everyone caught up with me and realized what scene this was...the scene with the kiss!
The audience was filled with cat calls and cheers. Our director, Marilyn had no idea, but my friends knew...I was "sweet sixteen and never been..." This was going to be the moment of my first kiss. Here, in the high school auditorium, with HIM.

The scene began:
Sarah Brown sat at her desk in the mission. In walked Sky Masterson, tall dark and handsome, a gambler who had been challenged in a bet that he couldn't get the mousy lady at the Salvation Army to go to Havanah with him. He introduced himself and claimed that he wanted to "be saved." She knew he couldn't be serious and told him so. He did that slow and steady predator walk of his over to her desk, where she and her big eyes were looking a lot like prey. In that moment I realized for the millionth time how completely type-cast we were. He was the popular quarterback of the football team and I was the most untouched, innocent-of-any male-attention female that I knew!

Sky sat down on the corner of her desk, leaned over, locked his gorgeous blue eyes with hers, and mine, and I completely forgot to read my next line and almost fell over into the garbage can. Without realizing, Marilyn saved me as she blocked me next to stand up and cross over to stage left where I sang the scripted song with all of the integrity of my sixteen-year-old understanding of standards and morality; the song I had auditioned with, "I'll know when my love comes along."

In time, the scene ended with him right next to me and, directed by Marilyn, he tipped up my chin and brought his lips down onto mine. My so-called friends in the audience applauded and whistled. Could it be any worse? But it was. As he stepped back from me, his face lit with a smile and he whispered into my ear, "Now was that so difficult?"

Maybe it was his smug grin that shocked me and turned me to a different emotional page. All of a sudden I was mad. Maybe it wasn't so difficult for him, football jock with lots of girls falling at his feet...but he knew, he knew that it must have been my first kiss. I was quaking with nervousness, completely unsure, terrified. He knew it, and he loved it.

What happened next was in the script all right but perhaps with the unfortunate circumstances I was a little too enthusiastic in my response. I did it. I slapped him across the face: me, Sarah the mission doll...both of us. And he hissed, "Did you have to hit me so hard?!"

Night after night of the show we played out that scene, he kissed me and I slapped him. And you know what? He was right, it wasn't so difficult after all.




FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 2008

Cuarenta Y Cinconera

I suppose it is the ultimate in tacky and that Utah probably would not recover...but I am seriously thinking of throwing myself a Cuarenta y Cinconera party next summer for my 45th birthday.

Let me explain...I attended my first Quincenera a year ago. Seriously, the Disney Princesses have nothing on the quinceaneras (teenage young women) South of the Border. These ladies, at the celebratory age of fifteen, are welcomed into womanhood with the party to end all parties! To be honest, I think my parents might have 
forgotten to celebrate my 15th birthday (happens fairly regularly in a large family). But in all fairness my family wouldn't have known what to do. Stupid Anglo-Saxons.

Why can't I be part of a hertitage that knows how to party?! I realize that the Bostonian residents of 1773 were trying to make the best of a bad situation, but was their Tea Party the best the Colonial English could do? Parties aren't even supposed to be violent (until two dashing men are fighting over the same woman of course). And although the wasting of a lot of valuable commodity (ever seen the amount of painstakingly created food at a quincenera eaten by non-appreciative Norteamericanos?) seems a bit over the top, it is clear to me that the Colonists were bored and wanted to stir up a little action with their tea. So what would it hurt for me to make up for a little lost celebration time? (Generations of it, apparently!)

I presented the idea to Tracy who didn't seem the least surprised to hear me come up with such an attention-seeking scheme. He responded, with only the dry wit that he seems to be able to master, that I certainly won't fall short of finding 45 men in theater who will want to participate in such an event. Well, Mr. Beck...I accept the challenge!

Once I can book 45 men for the event (in a quincenera the hardest part is finding 15 young men to pair up with your 15 best girl friends to perform a ceremonial dance. I have to come up with three times that amount!) then I can start hooking them up with 
mygirlfriends. Here's where the problem lies...If all of my friends have party-pooper Anglo husbands who won't participate then they will have to be lined up with my 45 chosen theater-men and I'm not sure that we can have that event at the church (is there another building large enough?) because I don't think that the average, boring Anglo husband can handle seeing another man's hands on his wife. What started out as a simple, personal, attention-seeking event for a woman in high church standing (I do have a gold card!) might turn in to the beginning of my ex-communication proceedings. However, there is a loophole...having spoken and sung at the Spanish Branches in California I can promise you that I could hold such an event under the supervision of a humble Hispanic Branch President and not get into any trouble whatsoever. Come to think of it, I might need the Branch President to be my dancing partner because Tracy certainly will not attend my event!

I can see it now, I enter the room in my fabulous dress (of course I am skinny by then) through the arbor of roses on the stage, float down the stairs and take my place on the dance floor across from my dashingly handsome borrowed Branch President partner and alongside the other 45 couples who have been trained in the beautiful customary dance (have you ever seen those traditional Anglosaxon dances like in the Jane Austen movies? All they do is circle each other. How romantic is 
that?) We all glide through the graceful choreography across the floor of the First Unitarian Church cultural hall (the Branch President's cousin is a member there and booked us the room). Families that I love, who love me fill the tables--mostly made up of just the men who refused to be a dance partner and their children who are wrecking the table decorations and spilling cake all over the floor of the room that we put a cleaning deposit down on...CUT! This is myfantasy!EDIT SCENE. REPLAY: All the children (mostly young girls who are staring at me in my princess dress with adoration and wonder in their eyes) are captivated and extremely well-behaved. The husbands look onto the dance floor with extreme regret that they are not currently partipating in the event. My 45 girlfriends (can I make 40 more friends by then?!) are having the night of their lives! They look at me with such gratitude that I know my family will receive anonymous treats left at our doorstep for years to come...

Wow!
I wish I could finish painting my party picture but my husband just walked in the door of the bedroom, saw me typing with a creepy-dreamy look at my laptop and clearly wants to know--without actually 
asking where dinner is--where dinner is. And feeling guilty that he just nuzzled my cat right in front of me, actually just nuzzled my neck!

Hmm...have to go. I have eight more months to plan my party but only one hungry husband. And he doesn't even have to imagine me skinny in my cuarenta y cinconera dress to act romantic!

Thank you cat! I think I'll go cook up a little action in the kitchen...
Hiding the remote control this morning bought me about 45 seconds until the TV goes on. If that happens, not even the cat will earn another glance.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 4, 2009

The Ultimate Fantasy: Edward the Fat-Sucking Vampire

I don't mean to be critical because truly, I love Edward, the vampire, like most women do. Not quite as much as my sister does, but her husband's name is Edward so for her fantasy and reality are all kind of all mixed up. But I would be the most devoted fan that Stephanie Myer could ever hope for if she could just make one small change in the Twilight Series: instead of sucking blood, Edward the vampire ingests fat cells from his victims. Seriously, although it is never mentioned that she needs it, Bella and every other woman on the planet we call Earth would love him so much more.

Please don't think I am critical. I am sure that Sister Myer is a gifted writer. Maybe she was just overly concerned about reaching the largest audience possible. I mean every woman has blood, right? I wouldn't want her to lose the support of skinny women who wouldn't have bonded with Bella if she was fat. But the ultimate fantasy book would have you fall in love with not only the most handsome and caring of men, like Edward, but a man who left you even better off than he found you, a man who made you even more beautiful after his understandably-selfish-draining of your body. After all, how a woman successfully loses weight is the most amazing secret that all of her friends and acquaintances try to unveil. A whole new level of intrigue would be created as other characters in the story attempted to solve the mystery of Bella's new phat (pretty hot and tempting) body.

Come to think of it, I don't remember chocolate being a big part of the story. What fantasy story has reached its full capacity with a chocolate-free story line?! If Edward periodically lipo-ed Bella's fat cells she could enjoy a whole new guilt-free appreciation of unquanified amounts of high-calorie desserts. As my friend pointed out to me today desserts is "stressed" spelled backwards. Imagine a story line where Bella has highly reduced amounts of stress and highly increased amounts of chocolate consumption. I don't even know if women in our society are prepared for the kind of thrilling fantasy that this kind of story-line would offer.

"Lying in bed, after consuming her third serving of chocolate mousse, Bella drifted into a restless and troubled sleep. She was awakened by the kiss of the Summer breeze from her open window. Strains of a hauntingly beautiful melody flowed through her mind, keeping her from retrieving the full-clarity of consciousness. Lulled by music and comforted by the chocolate haze, she slowly became aware of him, reclining on the mattress beside her. Slowly, she opened her eyes, and her vision was filled with his beauty. How he could want her, in her state of ultimate weakness, she couldn't know. But when he left, they would both be satisfied. He, because her greatest weakness made him strong. And she, because submission meant that she too, would have been transfigured into unqualified perfection..." 

Sigh...it is time to make dinner for my ungrateful family. I can't eat because my weigh-in is at the end of the week. The closest thing I have in the pantry to Bella's dessert is chocolate pudding, the kind you have to stir and stir and stir while it cooks. The haunting music in my house is my twelve-year-old practicing the clarinet and if I tried to fall asleep with my bedroom window open I'm pretty sure the snow predicted for later this evening would blow in.

But I know what I am going to dream of tonight, after falling asleep much too late and anticipating the blaring rock music that acts as the alarm to pull me out of tomorrow morning's warm bed. I am going to dream of Edward, my Edward. And of his beautiful face as he thanks me for sustaining his life with my compassionate donation. Wish me luck as I stumble into the bathroom, turn on the light, and catch the full vision of my true physique.

Don't feel too sorry for me, though. There will always be tomorrow night. And another chance to dream of the time I spend with Fantasy Edward, the fat-sucking vampire.

Laugh, if you want. Someday I will write a novel...
Laugh, Cry, or Pass the Mashed Potatoes

I get the extroverted part of me from my mother. As kids, we used to get so embarrassed in church when she gave a talk and used her "drama voice." I gave a talk in church last Sunday and when I was reading it out loud the day before to be sure that it fit in the time constraints I heard that voice come through my lips and promised myself it would not happen, ever again!

The most dramatic moment in our family was the night when my mother yelled at my father during dinner that she wanted a divorce. My three oldest siblings were already moved out of the house so it was only my older sister, me and my little brother in attendance.

For a moment there was that horrifying silence that follows an outrageous statement. Then, almost all at once the three of us reacted: my sister laughed, my brother cried, and I said, "Pass the mashed potatoes!"

My parents are still married and just celebrated their 60th year. I wonder sometimes if my mother ever remembers that moment when she was sure she would finally get my father's attention. Apparently, I still do! Good heavens, I am naming my blog after it!!

Because, you see, there might just be a little drama in me after all :)